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Brendon's POV

Groaning, I started to roll over from where I lay. I could barely make it an inch before being held back down. I looked up, remembering last night.

Oh god, I couldn't go out there. Not now. Not anymore.

Shaking off the thought, I smiled. I was in Ryan's arms. His eyes were lightly closed, his face lacking expression. He looked peaceful when he slept.

Deciding to stay where I was, I managed to turn onto my back and glance at the clock.

6:30 am.

The others were no where near awake yet that means. Maybe me and Ryan could leave before they awoke.

"Ryan." I whispered, scooting back onto my stomach. I felt bad for waking him up, but maybe he could just come to my house or something. Somewhere where he actually felt welcome. Too bad I can't drive.

"Ry." I whispered louder, teaching my arms up and cupping his face. I hit his cheeks lightly, and he started to stir. For a split second his grip tightened, but then it loosened. He lifted his arms to stretch, and his body flexed against mine. I bit my lip, trying not to think about it.

Stop, Brendon.

Finally he opened his eyes, smiling down at me.

"What time is it?"


"Wha? Bren-"

"I know, I know." I started. "It's early. But I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk or something, the others aren't up yet so they'd have no idea if we left. It will be too awkward when they wake up for us to be here..." I trailed off at the end, closing my eyes. I was still extremely tired.

"What? oh, okay." Ryan was still out if it, too. He didn't know what he was saying.

"Come on. You don't even need I get dressed, nobody is out on the streets at this time of morning." I said, standing up wearily. Ryan followed slowly, scratching the back of his head before groaning tiredly and lazily resting his arms on my shoulders. He hid his face in his arms.

"'M tired, brdn..." He mumbled. Giggling, I patted his back.

"I know. But the others will wake soon. Come on. I'll write a note for them, and leave it on their door." I started to walk towards a notebook that I always had with me. It was mainly filled with lyrics and stuff. Stories, poems. Thoughts.

I picked up a pencil and started to write, Ryan leaning over my shoulder.

'Spence. Pete and Patrick, Jon, Andy, Gerard. Me and Ryan can hear you talking about us. Thank god we're going to a different high school than you guys. I don't want to deal with you if you don't even consider me a friend at the slightest anymore. We left early, you guys have fun. Talk to you never.'

Ryan's POV

The paper that Brendon was writing on was blurry because I was so tired, and I squinted to see it. As I read it, I added "ohhhs" here and there. But I wasn't paying attention to that to be completely honest. I was paying attention to the way Brendon was when he first woke up. His messy hair, and the way he had to put his glasses on instead of contacts. He groaned every now and then from tiredness, which was sexy. It didn't help that he didn't have a shirt on, and damn was his body so much better than mine. It had muscles rippling, but also ribs. My body was just a composition of bones and skin. My ribs showed, my hip bones showed, and I had no muscle on my body. I was skinny and frail.

Stop thinking like that, Ry. He's not interested in you /that way/.

"Ryan?" Brendon asked all the sudden. I snapped back to reality, out of my daydreams.


"I said are you coming?" Brendon laughed, standing up. I scratched my head and followed him.

"Yeah, sorry. Got lost in my thoughts."

"I assumed."

Ryan Smiles (RYDEN) Chapter 5
Chapter 1:<da:thumb id="485630372">
Chapter 2: <da:thumb id="485630839">
Chapter 3: <da:thumb id="485631309">
Chapter 4: <da:thumb id="485631840">

Brendon's POV

I felt bad for Ryan, yeah. I think it was my fault though, I might've gotten...too close for when the others were around.

"Hey Spence, is it cool of we sleep in the rat's room?"

He nodded towards us, going back to talking to Gerard.

My best friend, ignoring me.


I pulled Ryan's wrist to the room across the hall, bringing my blue cover and heart pillow. I put them on the fluffy carpet, sitting down criss-cross, patting the ground next to me. Ryan sat down, putting his chin in his hands.

"Hey, don't be bummed out by that, Ryan. It'll be fine, I know it. They can't deal with a couple guys being friends, can they?" I stifled a laugh, but it turned into a sigh. Deciding I should be playful to cheer him up, I grabbed his shoulders and laid back quickly. He squeaked, curling up as he fell beside me. We both ended up laughing, and I loved Ryan's laugh. I stopped to admire it, but then he noticed I was staring. My smile fading, I turned my head forward and scratched my forehead. Ryan just smiled, laying his arm across my chest. He put his face in the crook of my neck, and I smiled. He was so warm. I barely knew him, yet I knew him like my best friend.

"Thank you, Brendon." He whispered. I pulled over my pillow, laying our heads on it.

"For what?"

"Being my first friend I ever had."

"No need to thank me." I turned, hugging him back. "But Spencer wouldn't have invited you if he you weren't his friend."

Sighing, Ryan, glanced up at me. "His mom is friends with my dad. She made him invite me, I really don't have any friends." He frowned.

"Awwh. Well I'm your best friend then. At school we're going to do everything together and stuff." I smiled, sitting up. "You wanna cuddle a rat?"

Ryan's eyes brightened immediately and he nodded and sat up. "Yeah!"

Ryan's POV

I sat up and watched Brendon stand and reach into the cage, his hands chasing the rat around.

"Hey, come here!" He said in frustration, reaching around quickly. I couldn't help but giggle, and accidentally get his attention. He smiled at me, laughing as he finally got the gray one.

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna brush my teeth and stuff." I said, standing up. It had always bothered me if I didn't brush my teeth every morning and night.

"I'll come with you." Brendon smiled, dropping the rat he had worked so hard to get. He quickly jumped up and followed close behind me. I walked into the guest room, getting my batman pajama pants out of my bag. I removed my cardigan and stated that i was getting dressed in the bathroom. Brendon nodded, looking through his bag.

As I passed Spencer's room, I heard the group laugh really loud. I stopped, curious, and put my ear to the door.

"Dude, they like won't even let go of each other!" I heard Andy snicker.

"Fuckin' faggots!" Jon laughed with him, and I heard the others burst into laughter.

"And do you see how gay Ryan acts? I could hear him scream from the rat all the way across the hall!"

"Yeah," Spencer agreed. "I'd always been curious about Brendon's sexuality, but now I know he's a gay!"

All the others laughed in unison, and I couldn't help it. Tears fell down from my face and I ran to the bathroom.

Once in there, I stood and stared at myself in the mirror.

"Fucking fag." I whispered, wiping off my makeup until my face was red from irritation. I took off my pink shirt and black jeans, slipping into my batman pants. Reaching for the counter, I frowned.

I forgot my toothbrush.

Sighing, I opened the door back up. Maybe I could sneak past Brendon without him noticing my tears. Spoken too soon, I bumped into him as I opened the door.

"Woah, Ryan, what's wrong!?" He held his hands up, a look of worry. He had on plain black pajama pants, and I noticed thin white lines on the edges of his stomach.

"Nothing...i..They.." groaning in frustration from finding the right words, I pushed Brendon into the rat's room.

"I-I heard the others through the door...they were making fun of us...they kept talking about how gay I act..." I bit my lip. Brendon's face went from worried to upset. Already tearing up, he threw his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Ryan. I'm sorry we're alone in this. But I promise, I swear to god, we will make it through it together."

I smiled, petting his hair as he laid his head on my chest.

"I know...Brendon?"


"Why do I feel like I know you so well?"

"It's like we're destined to be friends, Ry."

Smiling, I lay back, Brendon's head still on my chest. He hugged me tightly, sniffling. Soon we fell asleep.

Ryan Smiles (RYDEN) Chapter 4
Chapter 1: <da:thumb id="485630372">
Chapter 2: <da:thumb id="485630839">
Chapter 3: <da:thumb id="485631309">

Brendon's POV

It had been about an hour or two from when I hugged Ryan. I still couldn't believe that he's never been hugged before. Ever since then, in the past hour, I hadn't really let go of him. It was about 11:30, so that makes...1 and a half hours of me just hugging a basically stranger. But h didn't seem to mind. Up and down the stairs, across the hallway, playing video games, I had my arms around his shoulders and he just kept going on with life like I was a parrot on a pirate.

But I liked that.

I should get to know Ryan. He seemed like a nice person, and lonely. I think he needed a friend, and that should be me!

Maybe even more..

Shut up, Brendon.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and let him practically drag me down the stairs after Spencer's mom yelled that the pizza was here. All the other guys hurried ahead of us, but Ryan didn't seem to be in a hurry. He reached up to grab my arm, and kept walking like I was a scarf he was holding. I laughed as we reached the kitchen at the thought of that, and, without even knowing what I was laughing at, Ryan giggled lightly with me. His personality was so perfect.

A pizza box was shoved at us, with 6 pieces left. I grabbed one, but noticed that Ryan didn't get one. I poked his cheek with my slice, and he seemed to snap back to attention. He smiled at me, getting the smallest piece. Was he blushing?

"Damn, Ryan, always zoning out!" I teased. He laughed under his breath, and it seemed forced. I frowned, tapping his back as we all sat at a table. He faked another smile at me, sitting on a long bench. I slid in next to him, Pete and Patrick squishing on either side of us. Pete grabbed Ryan's cheek, and Patrick leaned his elbow on my shoulder, laying his head in his hand. They were both just smiling, looking at each other. Pete nodded, and Patrick made an agreeing nod, like they knew each other's next move all the time.

"Hey!" I said, annoyed, but laughed and wrapped my other arm around Patrick's waist. We all laughed, Pete the hardest. He always laughed a lot.

"You two are so cute!" The brown haired, chubby boy laughed, poking Ryan's face. Ryan jerked away as if overwhelmed, and huddled up. He played a small smile, but I could literally barely tell because his blush was the same colour as his lips.

"Hey, dude, shut up!" I managed to keep a serious face and elbow Patrick's stomach.

"You are!" Pete said, throwing his arms around Ryan's shoulders over-dramatically. "Oh my Prince Ryan! I will never release you!"

I laughed but noticed Ryan's smiles were forced. Patrick joined in, wrapping his around my neck. "I'll never let go, Ryan!" he reenacted the dramatic scene from Titanic.

"I hate you guys," I sighed, pushing him off and pulling off Pete. "You're making the poor guy scared."

Ryan's POV

"You're making the poor guy scared." Brendon motioned towards me. No, I wanted to tell him. They were right, I loved it how he hung on me wherever I went.

Ignoring it, I bit my pizza. It tasted like heaven, I hadn't eaten anything in the past couple days that wasn't stale, rotten, or cold. Maybe all three, who knows. A couple weeks ago my mom and dad had gotten in a huge fight, and my mom had left. Neither me or my dad knew where she was, but my dad didn't even know where he was most of the time. He was just always drunk or on drugs.

"He seems to be taking it well, don't cha, RyRy?" Pete pinched my cheek again. I smiled, scooting off of the back of the bench.

"I'm tired." I stated. I honestly really was. My eyes drooped as Brendon stood up and tangled his arms through my hair. I leaned into him this time, and all the guys agreed and we headed up the stairs.

Wait, were me and Brendon going to sleep together? I barely knew him! I mean, if he does end up with his arms still around me, I don't mind but...

Spencer yawned, starting to head upstairs. "I am too."

Patrick hopped on Pete's back, both of their eyes wide. "We're not tired at all!"

Sighing, Brendon layed heavily against me. "Of course you two aren't. I am. " He looked at me. "I'm glad you invited Ryan, Spence. I'm gonna be his friend."

I smiled as Brendon smiled at me, the others 'awwing'

"You already are my best friend." I whisper so that only he can hear, and leaned my head on his. He smiled wider, moving his hands down around my mid section. My arms moved around his neck and we stood there for a minute, closing our eyes. I forgot about the others around me, and as I remembered I opened my eyes to find them staring.

Oh god.

I wanted to pull away, act like that never happened, but Brendon hadn't noticed and his eyes were still closed.

I didn't want to make him anything but happy.

He still had a wide smile playing across his face. Spencer cleared his throat loudly, rocking back on his heels. Pete and Patrick followed Andy up the stairs, and Jon gave us a weird look. Spencer had to break his eyes from us, his eyebrow cocked.

Oh no.

"Ignore them. They can be butts." Brendon smiled at me, pulling me up the stairs. "You can just sleep with me on the floor okay? I brought my favourite pillow and cover."

I nodded, once again feeling like everyone was just strangers.

Ryan's POV

The rest of the day we all played around inside, since it was too cold outside to function. I had loosened up, but only to Brendon and Gerard though. Now we were taking turns on Call Of Duty, right now it was Patrick and Pete (yes they were the same character) against Gerard. He was good, I have to say. Really good. Pete and Patrick just screamed at the tv, running around and shooting aimlessly. Pete had the controller and the other was leaned over his back, grabbing his shoulders and yelling directions. None of it was working. I laughed.

Right now It was about 10 pm, and I sat across the room with Brendon. He stood up, telling Spencer he was going to show me the rats.

Rats?! My breath stopped. I'd never held a rat, from what my mom said, I should be scared of them!

I followed him into a room across the hallway, almost empty except a couple gaming chairs, a table and a tv. In the corner was a big cage, two fluff balls in it. One gray, one white. Oh god, those are rats. Actual rats.

Brendon closed the door, speeding to the cage and opening it. Reaching in with little struggling, he pulled out both rats. He set the gray one on his shoulder and it automatically curled up. That was actually kinda cute...

"Wanna hold her?" he held the white one out to me. I winced, sitting on the ground right next to Brendon. He smelled sweet, and his body was really warm. I scooted closer to him, just to feel his heat and smell him stronger. Noticing my leg was pressed against his already, I stopped getting any closer. Smiling at him nervously, I held my hands out. He laughed, setting her down gently. I couldn't take that, it startled me and I screamed, half standing up. Brendon pulled me back down, taking the rat.

"Hey hey hey it's okay." He whispered. He was surprisingly extremely calming. I sighed, settling back in the same position as earlier, biting my lip. He was so gentle! His touch, his voice, everything. I smiled an okay, holding my hands back out again. This time he looked at my face while he lowered the rodent into my palms. I flinched a little and he drew back, but I calmed myself and he set it down. It's claws surprised me a bit, not gonna lie. I smiled a little, noticing how cute she was. Why was my mom so afraid of these things, rats are actually adorable!

"Awwh." I whispered, trying not to scare her. I glanced up at Brendon. "She's cute."

Brendon's POV

Ryan looked up at me, extraordinary curiosity in his shiny eyes. He looked so happy, so content as the rat clawed its way up and down his arm. He giggled and every time he did it was like candy. His voice had the perfect edge, and he smelled so nice. Did I have a crush on him? No, no it couldn't be a crush. I just thought he was cute, that's all.

Oh wait, that's a crush.

So I do. I do have a crush on Ryan...Ryan...what was his last name?

Furrowing my eyebrow I held the gray rat Yuka in my hands. "Hey what's your last name?"

"Ross." He whispered, not taking his happy face off of Yumi, the white rat.

"Cool, two r's." I smiled as I made eye contact with him. "My last name's Urie."

"Urie...Urie...." he repeated my name. Why was he doing that? it looked like he was thinking. Suddenly realization hit his face and he curled up in a little huddle. He looked...frightened?

I took the rats and put them on the floor, letting them wander around. I rested a hand on Ryan's shoulder, frowning.

"What's wrong, Ryan?"

"Urie...Don't you have a brother that's a junior?" he whispered.

"Yeah, why?"

"He bullies me a lot..." He pulled his knees to his chest. Immediately I felt horrible, and responsible for it.

"He WHAT?" My anger built up. "He BULLIED you!?!"

Ryan started to look upset, so I lowered my voice back down to a whisper. He nodded.

"But why would he? What's there so bad about you that people have to make fun of?!"

Ryan swallowed, looking at my lap. It seemed like he was holding back tears.

"I like boys."

Ryan's POV

Oh great, I'm about to cry in front of Brendon Urie AND I just told him that I was gay. Well, this night /was/ going good...

I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to see Brendon's face.

"Hey, that's no reason they should hurt you, mentally or physically...I just can't believe my brother would do that You're so nice and sweet, not to mention you're adorable and smell good."

Did he mean all of that? I opened my eyes to check. Brendon's sympathetic face was next to me still, no surprise at all either. He just wrapped his arms tightly around me, laying his head on my shoulder. I rested my cheek on the top of his head sadly.

"I'm gonna hug you every time I see you, I feel like you need it." Brendon hummed.

He was right. I did. I had just met him, yet I felt so close to him.

"Thank you, Brendon." I whispered, my throat not working.

"Hey, I'm gonna be your friend, okay Ryan?" He smiled. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. I smiled back, knowing he could feel it. I'd never been hugged before. I liked it.

"I've never been hugged before." I hesitantly said. Brendon lifted his head, eyes wide with shock.

"You've never been hugged!?" he said in astonishment. "That gives me another reason to hug you all the time then! I'll tell you what, next year are you going to LawrenceBurg high school? Because I am."

I was!! I would be able to go high school with Brendon!? Without thinking, I squealed. A little louder than I intended to... Brendon jumped slightly and then giggled and layed his head back down on my shoulder. This was a super long hug, was this what all hugs were like? I wonder.

I hope hugs were like that, because Brendon said he would do it all the time. So that means I would get hugs like this all the time?

I wonder...does Brendon like guys?

'Shut up Ryan' I force the thoughts out of my mind. 'Of course he doesn't like guys. You're just weird.'

And I always will be.


If you find my new account, yay.

If any of you even  care enough to read this, and want my new account username, kik me freezer_Monster

  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: My Chemical Romance


jared-leto's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Welcome to the dark side, glad to have you here.


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Add a Comment:
MyChemicalCricket Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015
You found your password x'D?
jared-leto Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I've known it for a long time, and have checked DA regularly, but I don't know the password to the email to delete this stupid account...I'm making a new one today, I'll watch you on that one 
MyChemicalCricket Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015
deidaragirl45455 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014   General Artist
SpreadSpread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 10 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!
1-3 you're bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're loved
ConstantDrinkin Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014
pssstt.......your gorgeous HEHEHE! *flies off into the sunset*
jared-leto Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ConstantDrinkin Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014
Oscarliima Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the comment. and welcome.:) (Smile) :D (Big Grin) Hug Bunny Emoji-30 (I'm cute) [V2] 
ParachuteLove Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013
Hey old friend. Remember me? C:

jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah!! How are you?? Glad to see you back on Da!!
ParachuteLove Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013
I've been way better! How are you? I'm glad to be back as well, I've been uber busy.
jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
bored and lonely xD
LittlePhilosaur Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave. ^_^
jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem, keep it up!
BoomCraft123 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

Zaina-Raina Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The gathering is in thirty mins. I understand if anyone can't come, but I'll be on from now until the Gathering ends if anyone wants to join me in an early rp before the gathering? Here's the link if so:…
Zaina-Raina Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello fellow member of Clans-Of-The-city!! We are having a gathering tomorrow!! I just thought I would tell you ahead of time ^w^. If you don't have a ref made yet that is perfectly fine. Only if you could get those in soon. (~Speaking to the ones who have been in the members forever and haven't made a ref. Not the newer members ^w^~) Thanks!!!

If you have any questions just comment on I or another Leader's page, thx ^w^!
jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Zaina-Raina Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Np ^w^|\ the gathering is now today at 5:00 p.M can you make it?
jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah im home now
(1 Reply)
RileyIllustration Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the favorites~~
jared-leto Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem, you're so amazing!!
UnaVoxQuaePromineb Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I found a new one:… XD
jared-leto Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
dont understand how happy this makes me
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